Life, a Bitter and Sweet Symphony

When I touch, the dew drops on my window, And when I feel, the cold breezes of air that splash into me; When I see a twinkle in a child’s eye, And when I take a relaxed sigh, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, the seasons, smiles and stories, is a reflection of you in me. And IF the evils of space and distance, puts me out of your mind, and if you WILL forget me, leaving me on the shore, to walk alone, and bear the thunder waves, to see the sunrise and sunset alone, on that day and that very hour, I will lift my arms, and set myself free, to seek another land. And that shall be the renaissance of a loveless soul- If you will forget me… If you will forget me…

I have traveled through the city, Halfway and through; Praised the music, liked a places few. I enjoyed the weather, hated it too, Relived certain memories, cursed one or two. I did search for peace, searched for love, I searched for God, but it was tough. He hides, and I seek, He whispers and I shriek; He goes and I follow, He smiles when I’m hollow; He runs and I chase, As if an eternal race… I have NEVER got his way, neither yester nor today! So let’s do one thing now, I know not how true, You be my God for me, And I will be for you…

2 years ago, she meant a lot to me. Today, after 2 years that she is not with us, she means a lot more. April 2007 My passion to study is the driving force of my life. The Numero Uno position I gained in the 1st year of my college has made me greedy for marks. I studied harder in 2nd year and heartlessly in the 3rd. 28th April 2007 My grandmaa is calling me several times from her hospital bed, asking me to visit her. She is calling all of us, all her sons, daughters, daughter-in-laws, son-in-laws and grandchildren- she was an attention seeker. She liked it when she was surrounded by her family, we all knew it. I'm burying myself in books and promising her to see her after my exams. She is also insisting to visit Akshardham Temple, no one takes her she is complaining. I'm promising to take her on a wheel chair. But poetry of Keats and Eliot are more important to me. More than her phone calls pleading me to see her in the hospital, to spend some time with her. Everyone ...

When I say I like waking up early, I’m not a morning person, I compromise. When I say I’m uncomfortable in up-length dresses, I have no Indian woman as an idol, I compromise. When I say I love being at job, I do not enjoy the pen and paper, I compromise. When I say I’m not tired working for long, I do not mean to flaunt my strength, I compromise. When I say I hate marrying at 23, I do not love my independence, I compromise. When I say I’m happy with my life, I do not experience any special joy, I compromise.

This is the world of fun, laughter and gaiety. If you don't joke, don't laugh with others, at others, the world will ignore you to the extent of negating your presence. So whether or not you are a reserved person, for being included in "the group of maximum", you have to talk, dress, walk and speak with them in the way they want. You will have to "be" them- this is my recent observation of a way of living. But I still remain the same- quiet, reserved, not-so-social with people whom I'm not close to. I don't disclose my secrets to them because I don't want to...I don't talk much with them because I don't find it comfortable- life is to express and not to impress others. So if according to my recent observation, the quiet has no place, I'm happy in my no-man's-land.

I feel that I don’t travel to my job, I travel as a part of my job! Can you feel the difference? My aunt, who is the Branch manager of a reputed Bank in Vasant Kunj, recently said, "If traveling to your job gives you discomfort, your job is not good." She travels a long distance to her Bank, and thus could relate to my pain when I told her, "I get so tired going and coming back from office!" My new office in Janakpuri has everything so good about it, except that it is not reached easily. Please read my Travel Chronology: I step out from my Home Sweet Home and take a rickshaw to the bus-stop. From there I take an over-dover super-duper healthy wealthy over-crowded bus to Moti Nagar Metro Station. (This route bus is always so jam-packed that passengers haplessly exchange each other’s CO2…smell their bad odor …my light blue colored pants are almost shaded with tinch of brown and lack with shoe dust…howsoever neat I comb my hair on leaving, my pony leaves it place and g...

Sometimes I feel low, Sometimes I feel high. Sometimes the happiness is truth, and sometimes it is a lie. Sometimes I feel loved, sometimes I'm alone, Sometimes who hurts is a stranger, and sometimes it is a known. Sometimes the people are cheerful; sometimes the world is chaos, Sometimes they do care, and sometimes they lay-off. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it gets Okay, Sometimes I hide, and sometimes I convey. Sometimes I feel high, sometimes I feel low, These 'Sometimes' have passed, just a moment ago...